Thursday, November 9, 2006

Chamber CD - Day 4

9:29:02 AM

I am late again, but I will keep trying. Let’s get to work.

1:48 PM

I spent the whole morning studying the form of a short simple piece in deep, painful detail until I thoroughly understood it. What the hell am I doing...

My goal is to clarify certain ways of looking at form that have been brewing inside my slick skull for a while. I want to have a clearer idea of the elements of form, how they connect and why. I don’t want to just use a boilerplate form and just change the notes, but instead build an understanding of form that allows to mold it with control and purpose.

A lofty goal for sure, and I made some headway this morning.

However, I starting to get a little emotional at not having anything written yet. Well, almost nothing. All this organizing, preparation, studying, could it be a way for me to avoid composition?

This CD project I have embarked upon, it is something I have been thinking about for a long, long time. I am doing it now because I finally feel like I am ready for it, that my craft is up to par, but I can feel the fear, in the pit of my stomach, nagging me, “you know, it all might suck...”

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